Jockeying for pecking order among males is something that goes on constantly in all species of animal on Earth. It takes place in every human culture too, probably dating back to the very beginnings of Time itself. Men compete against each other every day and in all manner of ways, some subtle and others painfully obvious. From the high stakes power plays that define the bitterness and intrigues of office (or governmental) politics, to deciding who goes first at a 4-way stop sign, the struggle to demonstrate yourself better, smarter, faster more powerful than the other guy derives itself from an instinct that is submerged deep within the very oldest parts of the male brain.  It all happens precisely because women take note of the results of this never-ending struggle --quietly noticing who the apparent winners and losers are and just how well they seem to be holding up under the pressure of battle.

Understand that women don’t witness most of these little fights that go on (some are so subtle they can hardly be noticed) but they are extremely interested in the results. You are continually being sized-up for signs of the all-important winner or loser mentality... have you gotten the better of most of your opponents and risen to the top of the heap?... or are you a defeated and cowered wimp? At the heart of this particular question lies the answer as to whether or not you are a sexy, attractive man.

And so the never-ending hunt is on for signs of a victor... the confident air, the appearance of wealth, the look of athletic stock, and the worldliness that shows you either have the time to engage in great leisure, or an inquisitive mind that can’t be held down. You have a thirst for new experiences and risky adventures. All these things speak to her about a man who has excelled in the struggle for supremacy among his peers, and this factor more than anything else (including physical attractiveness to a great extent) is what weighs most heavily in her calculation of what makes a captivating guy. Remember, the consequences of sexual activity are vastly different for a woman than they are for a man, and so the factors that serve to turn her on sexually are different too. These factors are hardwired into her brain by Nature just as yours are, and really, they make a lot of sense when you stop and think about them.  It’s been said that maleness and femaleness are simply two different strategies for reproduction -- each simultaneously complimenting and in competition with the other.

With that in mind, let’s see if we can’t define what some of these characteristics are so that you can begin to integrate them into your own character and style.